3 weeks out!

Well, I think I can say the party's over.  Those good days I described in previous posts are now replaced with fatigue and fog.  The phrase that pops into my head is "putting the nose to the grindstone!"  The past two weeks have taken a strange but expected turn that most people have warned me about.  Fatigue, irritability, low brain function, and lack of motivation.  The symptoms I am experiencing now were the ones that went away along time ago when I decided to change how I ate.  It's amazing how important the role of food plays in how you feel!  Apparently this is all part of the process and at this point I'm trying real hard to stay in the moment and "enjoy" the process.

Food Todd changed my food last week, I am now "carb-cycling." I am on a 5 day rotation.  The first two days I eat 225gms protein and 25gms carbs, the third day I eat only 225 gms of protein and the last two days 180 gms protein and 75 gms carbs.  The first three days are the toughest, naturally!  25 grams of carbs is NOTHING and it took me about an hour trying to figure out spliting 50% of 25gms between breakfast and post workout and then splitting the remaining morsels between the other meals.  It sounds complicated and it somewhat was. By the third day (no carbs whatsoevery), I am shot... that's where the fatigue and low brain function come into play.

My current protein sources are tilapia, ground turkey breast (99% fat free), chicken breast and egg whites.  My carbs remain white & brown rice and yam.

Last week I started noticing some bloating so for one week I eliminated my sugar-free pancake syrup and diet soda.  THAT WAS HARD.... I had no pleasure food whatsoever! I still feel bloated and don't quite know the source yet.

Training I can only think of a couple words right now: IT SUCKS.  The fatigue and lack of motivation distract me from the joy I normally have when I walk into the gym.  I am weak and tired and push through every set and every repitition.

Last week I strained my low back doing stiff legged dead lifts.  Today (5 days later) I am much better after applying heat/ice on my back.  Sunday I dropped a 35 lb plate on my pinky.  I attribute these injuries to lack of focus and not paying close attention to what I amdoing.

My workout routine remains the same, and extra day of lunges on the treadmill.  Right now the main goal is hitting all of my muscle groups hard and keeping the muscle full and to the surface.

Competition Suit  Last Friday we headed to NUPARR to order our suits.  I ended up choosing a bright periwinkle blue suit.  I will go back this Friday for the fitting and order the "bling" (crystals).  It's hitting home that in less than 3 weeks I will be on stage showing all of my hard work!

October 7th: My Anniversary & My Grandson's birthday So yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and our grandson Ravi's first birthday.  This was a very tough day.  It's not every day that you acheive these two milestones and on the same day.  The party for Ravi was held in Saroj and Ramesh's backyard (my son-in-law's parent's house).  The weather was absolutely beautiful, the backyard decorated with first birthday "everything."  I wanted so bad to eat the wonderful cake and the fantastic food that Ramesh and Saroj put together.  I had moments of strong temptation to eat the pita chips, tortilla chips and the fresh cilantro jalepeno hummus.  Oh an not to mention Saroj's exquisite potato salad, one of my all time favorite foods.  I struggled the entire evening.  I did lick the frosting in honor of Ravi - I don't think that will set me back too far!

 

So I have finally noticed some significant changes in my physique.  I am excited to show you the changes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Today as I finish this blog I remind myself that why I am doing this.  I want to learn about self-discipline, grow through "not caring so much about what people think of me" and just feel connected to myself in a new way.  Is doing a figure competition the best way to accomplish this?  Up to this point my answer is most definitely a YES.  I needed a goal that would push me to stay strong and finish the race! 

What goals do you have, if any?  Are they acheivable? Realistic?

Until next time....

6 Weeks out!!

So by this Friday I will actually be 3 weeks out from the show but life just got in the way and I admit it, I'm a slacker with my grandious idea of a beautifully laid out blog describing the details of my thoughts and progress on this journey.

I will say that I have never in my life become so in tune with my body, my physique and nutrition! When a person like me has lived MOST of her life detatched from the 'physical self, it is an eye opener. Sometimes I wonder how many other people just detach themselves unintentionally or intentionally?  I love the feeling of reconnection to myself - it's invigorating and makes me feel alive.  Being detached and feeling like you are in a dream is a strange concept to most... but I love the temporary feeling of connection. 

Food
At 6 weeks out, Todd decided to keep my protein at 180 grams and carbs at 75 grams.  He said I was still coming down nicely and didn't want me to get too lean too fast.  There is a concept in training for competion called "peaking."  - that is the sweet spot where you look your absolute best. Todd said I'm pretty lean right now and doesn't want to run the risk of peaking too soon.

I am no longer on any grains as a source for carbs.  I am strictly eating only yams and rice. Yup - just that!! It is amazing how GOOD I feel.  I have been tossing around the idea of eating more gluten-free, even though I am able to handle gluten so far.

My breakfast includes 30 gms of eggwhites cooked with sugar-free pancake syrup and and nice side of white rice.  Todd wants me to use the white rice as my "fast carb" first thing in the morning to raise my blood sugar.  So far it's been working nicely.

I continue to cook my fish and chicken.  I buy the Kirkland chicken breasts from Costco.  They are the leanest and taste the best! I have tried all kinds of chicken at local groceries sacrificing quality for price.  At this stage of the game, I need good chicken and will pay a few extra cents for fresh and tasty chicken.

Training
Todd has asked that I start hitting my high hamstring and glute AND my shoulders 3 times a week. My shoulders are coming in nicely but I still need to hit them to keep the muscle hard.  My age is really showing in my glutes! I cant reverse sagging skin but I can certaintly work my "ASS" off trying to tighten things up as much as I can.  Todd said the goal is to try bring as much of the muscle to the surface which is what I am trying to do.

Specifice high hamstring low glute workouts usually consist of Smith Machine leg presses (see previous video post), heavy deep lunges with 35 lbs weights, glute flexor holding a 35lb plate, TRX lunges, and stiff legged dead lifts using the olympic bar-close grip legs straight, together and TIGHT... squeezing those glutes and hamstrings!

Progress Pics

So here I am at about 116 lbs.  I hope you can see the difference.  These pics were very encouraging for me... I have been doing this for a while now and wasn't really seeing my muscle come to the surface so I was pleased.

 

 

 

Here you get a sneak peek of a "model" pose that is required for the San Diego show.

Subjective Thoughts
I have always enjoyed studying human behavior - other people and my own quirky self. So it's probably time to start talking about how different people react to what I'm doing. Sometimes I think I create my own insanity.  I automatically assume that people are going to judge me negatively... tell me I'm self-centered, self-obsessed and narcissistic or any other "self" absorbed word you can think of. 

As I get leaner (and today at almost 3 weeks out, I am very very lean), I am getting all sorts of comments and stares.  When I enter the gym, men are sneeking a peek at me while I train.  I don't quite know what to do with all of that.  I don't know what they are thinking and probably shouldn't care.  I do wonder if they know if I am 50... "dude, I'm 50" It's just an interesting observation.

I can really see how women can fall into the trap of feeling good about themselves by how they look and by how men stare.  As a therapist, I know all to well who those women are.  The temporary high of feeling attractive and loved by mere appearance alone.  Getting trapped in a lost identity that is literally only skin-deep.  Then it becomes my job to walk along side of them and clean up the mess and help them restore their identity.

My father sexualized women.  He sexualized me.  What does all of that mean?  I know one thing.  He could only view women as sex.  This has had a profound impact on me.  One of my life-struggles is trying to figure out what it means to be female.  My most important role model, my father, contaminated my brain and identity so I have been on a journey of discovery.  For years I have had a self-hatred of my body.  My dysmorphic thoughts have told me that I have a very boyish shape and lack feminity and beauty.  I have hated the way I walk and the way I look and society's standards (and my father's) tell me I don't measure up.  So this process I am in has been healing at another deeper level. I detached from my feminine self long ago - and - my journey of healing that began 23 years ago still continues today.

Romans 8:28 says, "We are assured and know that [ God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose"

Yes, even the crappiest of crap... God can use.  I want only to be an encouragement and example that self-discipline produces change and that YOU can do it too.  You are worth it.